Okay, that Yosemite Sam thing is still cracking me up.  It’s funnier if you read it in his voice.

Scared you, didn’t I?  It’s ok… it’s just me.

I still have not decided what my Halloween costume will be.  I thought about going as the scariest thing I could imagine—a crazy republican*—but couldn’t put the costume together in time (do you know how hard it is to find a red McCain/Palin shirt in Ann Arbor?)  I was going to buy an unkempt blonde wig, get big-rimmed glasses, wear the red shirt, and go as the Crazy McCain Rally Lady.  I would accent the costume using modified bumper stickers, such as “Keep Your Laws ON My Body,” “Fuck the Lower Class,” “Jesus Take My Wheel (Not My Gun),” and “Barack Obama plotted 9/11.”  I would wander around mindlessly all night mumbling things like “Obama convorts with terriers,” and “he’s a Muslin.”

I would have had fun with that costume.  Oh well.

It occurs to me now that I could have gone as Joe the Plumber… that would be easy; just wear a namebadge that says “Joe the Plumber.”

OR JOE SIX PACK!

I could also go as my World of Warcraft character, a level 37 human rogue specialized in subletly with enchanted bracers, fiery weapon, a blood elf bandit mask, +66 attack power with skills in mining and first aid, but… I probably shouldn’t.

Why am I getting all these ideas NOW?

So today is the day where the fabric that seperates the living realm with that of the dead is the thinnest.  Supposedly.  So, the chances that you’re going to die tonight when a spectre invades your room at 3am when you are all alone and drains your life force… which is a very painful, agonizing, terrifying experience… is pretty good.  I’d say 1 in 3.

Anyway, Happy Halloween.  Watch out for terriers.

* = before anyone gets their panties in a wad, notice the word “crazy.”

Yosemite Sam joins many prominant Republicans in endorsing Barack Obama.  (From The Colbert Report yesterday).  Hilarious.

I haven’t written a Nexterday News article in a while, but have tons-o-ideas.  Here’s one.  Rough copy, SNEAK PREVIEW for you.  Constructive critisism welcome.

In his first address as President of the United States, newly inaugurated President Barack Obama admitted that he is, in fact, a terrorist.  It’s an announcement that’s sure to elicit “I told you so’s” from the Republicans, still reeling from an overwhelming loss last November.

“Look, I can’t believe how easy it was to fool all of you,” President Obama said.  “My real name is Hussein Osama.  It is with such a passion that I hate America, that I was able to speak in clear sentences from the moment I exited the womb.  I was a quick study, and identified those two men—Saddam Hussein and Osama bin Laden—as men likely to share my vision, even 46 years ago.  So I killed my real parents, adopted their names, and I will continue their vision of death to America.”

Senator John McCain was quick to respond to the announcement, vowing to suspend his concession and cross party lines in an attempt to remove Osama from office.

Some have even accused President Osama of being the literal incarnation of the Devil, pointing to his claim that he was able to speak from the moment he was born.

President Hussein Osama then proceeded to introduce his new cabinet.

“I found bin Laden,” he calmly exclaimed in front of the stunned reporters, rapping his head in a turbin.  “He was in my basement.  He’s my new foreign policy advisor.”

The introduction of national security advisor William Ayers was saved for last, and in an added twist, was introduced as the president’s homosexual husband.

When Ayers spoke, he vowed the current administration would do everything in it’s power to not only “finish off the American economy,” but also “ban traditional-sex marriage, making gay marriage the only state recognized institution.”

It was a move sure to infuriate conservatives.

“It’s not right,” said a caller to the Rush Limbaugh show.  “I’ve tried being gay, I really have.  I just couldn’t continue to make that choice.  Who is Osama to tell me who I can and can’t marry?”

Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi said that she wished the Democratic majority of the House and Senate had the power to vote down Osama’s proposed initiatives.

“Unfortunately, we are powerless,” she said in a statement.

McCain was quick to respond, saying Pelosi clearly didn’t understand the role of the House and Senate.  “Have you just been approving anything that comes across your desk for the past two years or what?”  he asked her directly.

Nexterday was able to get in touch with Sarah Palin’s office for a comment, but was told the governor would have to get back with us at a later time after she had finished reading every newspaper in the country.

The anti-Obama rallies are getting a lot of attention, there’s a few with people screaming things like “he’s a nigger,” “I’d never vote for a black man,” etc., but nobody really points out that he’s not black.

Here’s a video from Chocolate News that illustrates that point perfectly.

David Allan Grier always makes me smile.

Sometime shortly after I graduated college a few years ago I became the most shy and timid person I’ve ever known.

I don’t necessarily hate it, because it makes life easy when you don’t really want to meet new people or talk to anyone, but it disappoints me and I’m angry that I let it happen.

I’m embarrassed at how cocky I was in high school and college, and I think it took a few people to call me on it, either in person or by leaving a smart ass comment on a blog, or whatever.  Looking back I think more people called me on it than I realize, the difference is that now I can see what they were saying, and at the time when I thought they were just messing around they were actually looking at me with contempt and so that just makes me feel even more foolish to the point where, now, I rarely express an opinion in person because of a literal fear of being rediculed.

And when you think about it, everything you say is an opinion of some sort… for example, you could disagree with this blog entry itself… and so that’s why most of the time I don’t say anything.  There’s only maybe 3 or 4 people who I’m comfortable enough around to have a decent conversation.

(Thanks in advance for the advice of “don’t let what other people think get to you.”)

When you’re dreaming with a broken heart, waking up is the hardest part.
John Mayer

I was walking to lunch yesterday with my iPod.  A while ago I got new ear-buds for it because they sound better, but they are different than the white ones that come with it.  They kind of stick into your ear rather than just sit in it, if that makes sense.  Anyway, most of it is covered in rubber like the white default ones, but there is a portion (where the sound comes out) that is just wire mesh.

So I was listening to a song when all of the sudden I felt a tickle in both of my ears.  Within a millisecond the tickle grew to an overwhelming shock, and soon I realized that I was being electrocuted by my iPod.

Somehow, the headphones have a short in the wire where each time the wire is moved a certain way, it draws power from the iPod and sends it right to my ear drums.

I frantically swatted and batted at my ears until the earbuds came out.  I’m pretty sure everyone around me thought I was nuts.  I thought about covering it up by saying, “damn, I hate that song.”

New layout, just because.  Not sure if I like it but I suppose it’s better than a white background with black text in the middle.

New things:  “Top commenters” listed at right.  An annoying “#” below every post.  And the comment link inconveniently located to the bottom left of every post, conspicuously close to the previous post, likely to confuse people into thinking those are the comments for the previous post.

Overall, a big success.

Sometime this past January or February I discovered NaNoWriMo.  It stands for National Novel Writing Month, and takes place once a year in November.  It’s a program for aspiring writers who can band together and get support from each other knowing that they’re all sitting at their desks banging out 50,000 words in 30 days, no matter the quality.  Getting them down is important.

“Damn,” I said to myself, “too bad it’s late January or early February, I have to wait almost a whole year!”

Well, November is upon us, and I feel like I am braking a promise to myself because I kind of feel like I don’t have the drive to do it.

But what the shit else am I going to do?  I’ve loved writing since I was a wee one, I just never do it.  This is an excuse for me to actually do it for once.  It will take massive amounts of time, but it’s only for one month and if I can stay up until all hours of the night playing Warcraft, I can stay up until all hours of the night (what is all hours?  2am?) writing.

The thing is… what do I write about?

I have many ideas, but mostly they don’t get written because I feel they’re the same as everything else.

On the other hand, I have to start somewhere.  I can’t expect to run the kitchen if I’ve never cut an onion.  (How’s THAT?!)

So, since I am so dissatisfied with Heroes, I think I am going to re-visit my original idea that I had for real-life superheroes before that show premiered and stole my ambition.  If you are a faithful follower you may remember that idea.  It seemed to be the most developed out of all of them.

I’m still undecided if I will do this, though.  So… I’ll let you know what happened on December 1st.

Sidenote:  if anyone who reads this is interested in doing this with me, let me know STAT.

Don’t you love it when things just work the way they promise?  When you go to burn, say, 3 copies of a data CD and don’t have to reboot, or restart the program after each one because of “General error.  Please reinstall the program.”

It’s why I love Apple.

Some people say Apple has the same problems, and in certain respects they are right, but in my 1.5 years of being a proud Mac owner, I can’t remember ever running into an error, and I am still running my original install of the OS.  That’s been my experience.

On the other hand, on my Vista work machine, I’ve installed Vista 4 times within the last 3 months.  And when Katy got her computer, it took two Vista installations before it finally took.  Even still, the printer driver randomly uninstalls.

Windows may be “life without walls,” but I find it’s better to have walls in your life.  Walls keep unwanted things out, and wanted things in.  Walls give things structure and stability.  Try building a house with only a roof and one Window.  If that doesn’t work, just get Jerry Seinfeld to say something funny.

Obama is showing a large lead in the polls, and some are going as far as to say that the contest is largely over and come November 4th, Obama will win.

They are wrong, and here’s why.

Number one is, and I’m not pointing fingers and trying hard not to pull “the race card,” but I think that there are a lot of people out there who are saying “I’m voting for Obama” because it’s the “cool” thing to do.  Let’s face it, if you are in a largely Democratic area, it’s not easy being a McCain supporter.  So I think there are people who might get into the booth after telling the pollsters they’re pro-Obama, and then hover above his name, and then stop to think—maybe about race, it would be dumb to think that’s not an issue, but also maybe about his middle name and how his last name is so close to Osama, and, well, he might be a terrorist, after all, and what if he is—do I want that responsibility?, and McCain has been around and he’s the safe choice and so—their fingers move and McCain gets the vote.

Number two is, and if I were one of those crazy conspiracy theorist guys with the long beard and cardboard sign I might be inclined to think this was all calculated and plotted, but—I think a lot of people’s attitudes will be “why wait in line on election day if he’s going to win anyway?”  The thought has even crossed my mind a few times, “Michigan is going to go Democratic, is one more vote really going to matter?”  The answer of course is yes, because if everyone thought that way there’d be a huge difference, but I think that that is exactly what’s going to happen.  A large number of people simply won’t vote because they don’t think they “need” to.  Every time I see a poll that says Obama’s lead is widening I get nervous, because that means fewer and fewer Obama voters will actually turn out.

I would like nothing more than to wake up on November 5th and see “Obama wins!  McCain concedes, and everyone agrees to work together for the next 4 years!”  However, I’ve seen the way the country has worked the past eight years, and I simply don’t think it’s going to happen.  I pray that I am wrong.  I also pray that no matter the outcome, the next presidential campaign isn’t launched the next day (Obama and Clinton started two years ago, why not four this time around?), and that whoever looses—the Democrats or the Republicans—don’t call the outcome a fraud unless there is CLEAR evidence, and promises to respect the will of the majority of Americans and work together.  I can’t see this happening… I don’t see either side being a graceful loser, but again, I pray that I am wrong.

That’s a dumb blog title, and I appologize.  Let’s move on.  It’s been a while since I wrote about what I did, saw, and what I thought of it.

SO HERE WE GO!

On Friday night I had Chinese food with Katy and her family.  While even bad Chinese food is still delicious, it was not good.  I have become one of those arrogant yuppies who no longer looks at the menu, instead I just say “shrimp and snow peas,” because every friggin Chinese restauraunt has it.  If you have not had this, try it the next time you go out.  Whatever sauce they use is magical.  Except this one did NOT have it!

So the waitress said, “We put together shrimp, snow pea, and garlic sauce.”  I said, “OK,” not really knowing what the sauce is in the shrimp and snow peas that make it so delicious… I mean, it could be garlic sauce, right?

For those taking notes:  no, it is not garlic sauce.

On Saturday night Katy, Jessica and I went to the So You Think You Can Dance concert.  (Radio of female to male attendees was estimated at 70-30).  I enjoy the show when it’s on, but I never really seek it out.  I enjoy it more than American Idol, I think, because it’s pretty hard to fake a good dance.  You can have a good voice and sound wonderful, but just be boring to look at.  But if you are a good dancer, well, it’s hard NOT to look at you.  I’m pointing at you, Courtney, though I’m fairly sure I’d still be looking if you just flopped around like a dying fish.



My only gripe was that every dance they did was ones that were on the show.  Which, the more I think about it, I’m not sure what else I was expecting.  When you go to a concert, you don’t want to hear the singer spew off 90% new material.  On the other hand, though, you don’t dance along like you’d sing along, so I think more new things would be welcome.

On Sunday, Katy and I saw Saw 5.

Last year, I remember writing a blog about how I thought Jigsaw was kind of a morbid super-hero, in that he found society’s problematic people and “rehabilitated” them by putting them in elaborate life-or-death situations symbolic to the crime they had committed.  He never killed his victims—if they died, it was a result of their own inaction or desire to be rehabilitated.  (SPOILERZ FROM HERE ON OUT).  I felt like this movie kind of threw that notion out the window.

It’s not necessarily a bad thing, though.  I suppose Saw 6 will have to clear this up.  While they were faithful to the Jigsaw character—he even got upset that his new apprentice, who started out as a copycat, didn’t provide his victims a way out—it ended with the new killer still not understanding the whole point behind the Jigsaw traps.  He *did* provide the victim with a way out, but I wasn’t clear as to why the guy was a victim to begin with… he was just a cop trying to track down the bad guy.  Jigsaw’s victims were always “bad” people.  It was still a VERY creepy ending, with the new killer laying down practically taking a bath in the victim’s blood, so maybe that’s what makes it so scary, is that this new guy is simply a psycho who likes to torture and kill.

So, that’s that.