I want all of these.

• I'M HONGRY. 5 hrs ago
• Sometimes at work I have my headphones in but no music because that way I don't have to laugh at stupid jokes, even though I can hear them. 6 hrs ago
• Awww, http://trunc.it/68tuy 7 hrs ago
• @Katterz77 I'm about to take it down because nobody seems to understand it. in reply to Katterz77 7 hrs ago
• Either they send me resumes for full time work, or they send me a run on sentence in all lowercase and ask questions I answered in the post. 7 hrs ago
• I put up an add on craiglist to see if anyone can install a chain link fence for cheap, and some of the responses I've gotten are amazing. 7 hrs ago
• @Megadactyl A homemade flux capacitor? Transorbital subspace reciever? in reply to Megadactyl 10 hrs ago
• ..an X-ray scanner to go inside. People are fine with this, because they feel safer (less likely to die while gorging on fast food, you see) 10 hrs ago
• And soon we have federal marshalls at all fast food restaurants, and your car must be searched for explosives and you walk through... 10 hrs ago
• I have this idea for a story about a group of people who are fed up with obesity and decide to start suicide bombing McDonalds. 10 hrs ago
• More updates...

Posting tweet...